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Feb. 19th, 2011 02:14 pm
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Character Name: Megamind
Canon: Megamind (Dreamworks) (Wiki link)
Character Age: Early thirties
Job: Incredibly Handsome Criminal Genius and Master of All Villainy
Canon: CONTAINS SPOILERS. What if Lex Luthor finally beat Superman? Megamind is the story of an alien, sent to Earth to achieve greatness as the sole survivor of his people. He uses his time on Earth doing what he does best: being a supervillain. However, Megamind’s life takes a turn for the weird when he finally beats the superhero Metroman, and he has no hero to fight--no purpose to his life. However, as reporter Roxanne Ritchie pointed out to him, “Heroes aren’t born, they’re made”--and so Megamind resolves to create a hero that he can fight, returning to his rightful place as supervillain and putting everything back the way it was destined to be.

Megamind is a superintelligent, enormously creative drama queen who puts his life into his work as a supervillain. His nefarious inventions include his floating Brain Bots, a robotic body for his manservant Minion, and all kinds of torture devices to use on his kidnapping victims. Despite his worst intentions, though, he is truly a good guy, whose insecurities about his appearance manifest as a sort of in-your-face vanity. His belief in destiny gets in the way of him thinking of himself as anything other than a villain, a caricature of evil who is always two steps from winning. Still, he chases after that impossible win with all that he has, and finds real joy in the chase.

Note: Megamind often mispronounces words due to his total cluelessness about “normal” stuff. “Metro City” becomes “Metrosity,” “Hello” becomes “Olo,” etc.

Sample Post: MuahahahaHAHAHAHAHAH! KNEEL BEFORE ME, CITIZENS OF SHIFFOOD!--What does that say, “See”... “Seafood.” Citizens of--really? Are we sure about this?

Okay, guys? Guys! I’m really going to need you to focus here if I’m going to make this work. First of all, this formation needs... something. Not to put down the “random, seething masses” approach--I’m a fan of the classics, too--but it doesn’t really give the sense of fun that I’m used to seeing in my chaos. Maybe it’s the rotting flesh, too, I don’t know. Do you think you guys could handle a chorus line? Hat tricks for those of you with heads? No? And “zombies” just sounds so gauche, don’t you think? All of the really big names have alliteration in them--”Megamind,” “Rex Ruthor,” “Metroman”--They pack a punch, so you don’t have to, am I right? So I was thinking, “Megaminions!” Huh? Right? Alliterative and practical. You can have that one--no, go on, it’s free.

Let’s see, what else... it says here that this Seafood place has a large number of superheroes as well as supervillains. Now, I don’t want you guys to get worked up every time you see a cape or a domino mask--not everyone is worth my time! We talked about names, earlier--try to find someone who has a really cool one. I don’t want to go mano-a-mano with someone named “The Punchinator” or something like that. Preferably my rival won’t be one of those Girls of Magic, either; their banter can be so boring, and while I can be very patient, a costume-change-lightshow every time I see them is a liiiiittle much. Make sure they aren’t trying too hard! They have to live it, breathe their craft as though it were an extension of their very soul. Look to the skies, and make sure it isn’t a bird or a plane. Sometimes it’s a surprisingly easy mistake to make.

What next... “Required Secondary Powers,” “Rich Idiot With No Day Job”--Right, here we are: Rogues Gallery. Now, as we all know, what really makes a supervillain strong is not only his alarmingly good looks and raw animal magnetism. No, no! What we are looking for is a small but elite group of creative, inspired, unique supervillains with a gimmick of their very own. Obviously, we don’t need to look for another stunning supergenius or resident playboy, which narrows down the scope a fair amount. Perhaps an evil clown who tells jokes! Maybe a sultry woman with an affinity for cat-burglary! These are all amazing ideas, I hope someone is writing these down. You, there! What was I just saying?

...No, I am not just stealing these from TV Tropes. What sort of fool would willingly venture onto that website? It’s a time vampire, stealing away the hours and days from right under the hopeless victim’s nose. In fact, it’s actually part of my first Seafood evil plan. I believe the locals call it... “trolling.”


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